Blog Post #31: A Greater Hunger

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I’ve begun a new book, called “All Quiet on the Western Front”.

As I am very quick to make judgements (a habit I’m trying to break), like with “Tale of Two Cities”, I have already found several lines that I absolutely adore. One, in particular, stands out.

“The night lives, I live. I feel a hunger, greater than comes from the belly alone.”

This moment in the book is already a climax. Nineteen and a half year old Franz Kemmerich has an amputated leg and dies, all within the space of a few days. Paul Bäumer has witnessed one of his closest friends slowly fade away, and the only thing he can be, is practical.

“..-they are no use to him.”

I am, of course, talking about Kemmerich’s boots. His brother-like figure has just died, and the first thought that comes is, “Müller can have these boots now.” It makes him, and everyone else in the army, seem so selfish and thoughtless, as if seeing how quickly life vanishes in the war makes them do everything they can to just have one more second. But this isn’t completely true, or their fault because..

“We became soldiers with eagerness and enthusiasm, they have done everything to knock that out of us.”

And though I’m talking about this literary stuff, the real motive for this post to talk about the first quote. And to use this blog for more than it was made for – to expose my heart and soul.

“The night lives, I live. I feel a hunger, greater than comes from the belly alone.”

I feel as if I’ve said this before, but really the only thing I want out of life to feel that I’ve made a change in the world, to feel like part of something bigger than myself. I don’t want to go through life, just doing a job or just making money to buy food or clothes or things that in the end, aren’t as essential to living as they are to surviving.

I don’t want to survive. I want to live.

I think that many people don’t realize that the world  isn’t as easy as you think it is when you’re a teenager. Adults don’t get to just do whatever they want. In fact, adults have a lot more restraints on them, because they get stuck in mundane routines and responsibilities, and everything they wanted as a teenager is suddenly out of reach.

I don’t want that.

I want to be the kind of focused that realizes what how to become society’s idea of successful, but then realizes that none of what society thinks is important. What’s important, is what I think of myself, what my family and my friends think of me.

In the end, it’s just me and what I’ve done to make myself proud. I don’t want to just merely exist, or be average.

I want to be

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